ootd: juggling a career with a chronic illness

for the sake of just doing, instead of over thinking, over planning, over analyzing, and over perfecting, I'm going to keep this brief.  back in october, when I started this blog, I had hoped to post to it once or twice a week.  wellllllll, I've posted to it twice this year and it's pretty much mid-march at this point.

something else happened last october: I accepted a full time position as the marketing/art director at a department store in downtown baltimore called The QG.  they've never had a full marketing department before, so I've been presented with a lot of work and a unique set of challenges.  I really love it, but coming from being full-time freelance, it's been a huge life and mindset adjustment.

even though I had publicly announced my new job and that I couldn't take on anymore freelance work, I still did, probably because variety is what I am used to and if the project sounded fun, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to shoot.

I'm in love with photography and want to take as many pictures and do as many photoshoots as I can but I also have this thing called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that significantly slows me down at the most inconvenient times.  sometimes I get knocked so hard on my ass by EDS that I just have to stay in bed all weekend to recover.  the anxiety of losing two days to sickness leads to me just having to say no to a lot of things: events, meetings, posting to instagram regularly, dinner with friends, etc.

my weekday schedule looks something like this:
6:30am wake up
7:00-7:30am get out of bed (yes, sometimes it takes me an hour)
7:45-8:00am leave for work
8:30am get to work
6:30-7:30pm leave work
7:45pm dinner/shower/netflix
9:15-9:30pm bed

in order for me to disrupt the above schedule, I will be sacrificing my energy for the next day.  if I plan far enough in advance, I make adjustments to the day of an event to save energy, so said event doesn't knock it out of me.  because of this, I choose events I go to very carefully.  and yes, I play favorites (usually based on values, I tend to favor events that are positive for the community and the city I care about).

so where do I find the time to shoot with a schedule like this?  well usually on Sunday because I have decided that Saturday is my mental health/personal day with either my boyfriend, close friends, or family.  so I get to shoot once a week (outside of work), and lately I've been devoting it to clients and future, bigger projects.

these images in this post are from last Sunday.  my friend Rosemary and I headed to the new location opening of Bear Fox Babe in Ellicott City, owned my another friend of ours, Macy.  afterwards, I went to a carry-out place down the street, and passed out by 8:30.

my hustle isn't as fast and strong as my contemporaries and I really struggle with that sometimes.  I don't consider myself competitive, but I do like DOING, and I'm happiest when I can do creative things.  I'm fortunate enough to have a day job where I get to be creative, but I'm selfish enough that I also want to be creative for my own vision.

right now I'm reevaluating my instagram to see if there are ways I can make posting easier on myself.  it's been exactly a year since I've started posting exclusively portraits, maybe it's time to refocus so I can create content that is more accessible for me to create.

any of my readers have a chronic illness?  I would love to hear your experiences on this.