ootd: imposter syndrome
tomorrow I start a new job that I'm perfectly qualified and suited for, but I still get that "wait, I get an office?? wait I have meetings with people?? wait I'm going to mentor someone??? like, who is letting me do these things????" then I remind myself that I have, time and time again, proven to be not only a competent, but a successful photographer and marketer. it's easy for us women and other marginalized groups to beat ourselves up despite constant proof of our accomplishments because we are so often told or socialized to believe that our accomplishments and our opinions mean nothing.
last week, my friend melanie (of baltimore print shop) and I walked around my neighborhood with the intent of taking outfit of the day pictures. this was before I had come up with the idea to pair ootd with "outlooks" so I was feeling very unsure of myself and wondered if anyone cared about my style and just generally like, "every fucking person I know does ootd or at the very least is interested in fashion and doesn't need me for any sort of inspiration, so what makes me think I can just put on an outfit and call myself special???"
so....I call this outfit "the blogger uniform." I made myself wear something autumnal and slightly boho with the intention of satire, but as it turns out I liked hanging around in this outfit very much and I really love how these photos turned out**.
I'll have you know I haven't worn this hat since traveling in the pacific northwest, it mostly just hangs on my wall. and I'm realizing as I'm typing this, that is the most fashion blogger thing I've ever said. oops.
but not oops. I set out to write this blog feeling very apprehensive, afraid I didn't have anything new to say. however, after just barreling forward with any sort of content I could think of, I have been told multiple times (mostly by my very supportive friends) that this blog is saying something new about creative lifestyle and pursuits. (by the way, I was nominated for four mobbies, I nominated myself one of those times, please vote for me if you wish!)
and that's kind of the message of this blog post: if you're feeling inexperienced or unsure of yourself...fake it till you make it. it sounds easier said then done, right? well here's a bit of reassurance for me and for you: if you were qualified for every single thing you were charged to accomplish, you would never grow.
sit on that for a minute.
typically, my instinct is to revert back to self-depreciating humor, but in a mostly male or professional environment when my facetiousness would probably be misunderstood, I have to break that habit. when I go into the new job tomorrow where I will be performing and teaching tasks that I actually have no formal training in (including photography), I have to keep telling myself "they hired you for a reason, and the reason is you have the fortitude to accomplish what needs to be accomplished." every situation you and I are put in, related to our respective fields, we can most likely figure it out, or at the very least, we can google it ;)
** thank you melanie for putting up with my bossy ways. you understood my vision and I can't wait to hang out and photograph things with you again!